It's ShamAzing!
So by now, we've all heard the unfortunate news about Vince from ShamWow and SlapChop getting into that fight with the hooker. I don't know what's better, that anyone is surprised, or that Headline News actually ran a story wondering if this was the end of his career. Career? Sure, he's awesome, but what kind of career is this? If I were him, I'd probably have some rage issues too.
I was at home a couple of weeks ago for the holiday and as my family gathered for brunch on Easter Sunday, the conversation quickly turned to Vince and his hooker. What? Your family was busy discussing the Sunday Mass sermon instead? Not my family's style. So as we're laughing, wondering if the kitchen used the SlapChop to make the buffet table's scrambled eggs; my mother, aunt, cousins, and I came up with a couple of gems of brilliance about the whole situation.
"Do you think they used the ShamWow to mop up his blood?"
"She'll make him say "ow" everytime!"
"He slapped his troubles away."
"She didn't love his nuts."
"Vince Shlomi: Making hookers skinnier 'one slap at a time'."
"What he did with one finger, she did with her whole hand!"
Yeah, we have no shame. And we weren't even drinking with brunch, you see. Maybe if we had been, we could have gotten ourselves into a Vince vs. Billy Mays debate, but I bet we're saving that for the next family get-together. Fourth of July perhaps?
And speaking of Vince, what kind of last name is Shlomi? I wanted to marry this guy, and my mom was all for it, but after his arrest she did call me and say, "You cannot become Nicole Shlomi, I'm sorry, you can't. The hooker arrest we can work with, but the name needs to go."
I couldn't agree more.
So, in light of recent events has your opinion of the ShamWow or SlapChop changed? Or do you think they (and Vince) are still amazing? I mean, remember the backlash the poor Dell guy got a few years ago? Let's hope this all blows over.
And lets face it, the hooker probably deserved it.
I was at home a couple of weeks ago for the holiday and as my family gathered for brunch on Easter Sunday, the conversation quickly turned to Vince and his hooker. What? Your family was busy discussing the Sunday Mass sermon instead? Not my family's style. So as we're laughing, wondering if the kitchen used the SlapChop to make the buffet table's scrambled eggs; my mother, aunt, cousins, and I came up with a couple of gems of brilliance about the whole situation.
"Do you think they used the ShamWow to mop up his blood?"
"She'll make him say "ow" everytime!"
"He slapped his troubles away."
"She didn't love his nuts."
"Vince Shlomi: Making hookers skinnier 'one slap at a time'."
"What he did with one finger, she did with her whole hand!"
Yeah, we have no shame. And we weren't even drinking with brunch, you see. Maybe if we had been, we could have gotten ourselves into a Vince vs. Billy Mays debate, but I bet we're saving that for the next family get-together. Fourth of July perhaps?
And speaking of Vince, what kind of last name is Shlomi? I wanted to marry this guy, and my mom was all for it, but after his arrest she did call me and say, "You cannot become Nicole Shlomi, I'm sorry, you can't. The hooker arrest we can work with, but the name needs to go."
I couldn't agree more.
So, in light of recent events has your opinion of the ShamWow or SlapChop changed? Or do you think they (and Vince) are still amazing? I mean, remember the backlash the poor Dell guy got a few years ago? Let's hope this all blows over.
And lets face it, the hooker probably deserved it.
posted by ColeyMarie | 3:51 PM
3 Comments:
You really should put a "choke on your coffee laughing" warning on posts like this. I'm not sure it was meant to be that funny, but it was a good laugh to start the day with.
Glad to see you're back! So. I think that the Shamwow still deserves the respect that it holds - which is about 2-3 liters of pop. That's impressive. However, my allegiance still lies with Billy Mays. If he was in an altercation with a hooker, she wouldn't be fucked up - he'd dispose of the body and clean up the mess with Oxy-Clean while on a temporary energy boost from 5-Hour Energy!
Anyway, if someone bit my lip.... well let's not go there. If someone bit my lip at Walmart, the dressing room mirror may get steamy. Unless it was Billy Mays or Vince Shlomi - because that would be f'ing gross.
Haha I love the ShamWow guy... I read this whole story about him being a scientologist and them screwing him over and that's how he ended up doing infomercials/beating up hookers.
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