Fall TV Viewing... so far

So, it's no secret, I'm kind of addicted to tv and because of this, the last week and a half or so of my life has been pretty dang exciting, considering it's been the kick-off of all of my favorite returning shows, and some new ones as well.

For fun, let's do a little recap... shall we?

Monday nights: By far, the busiest night for my poor, overworked DVR. First, we've got How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory. I haven't watched the premiere of How I Met Your Mother yet, because I'm still working my way through seasons 3 and 4, and don't want to be spoiled by going into the beginning of season 5 yet, so I'm saving that for possibly sometime next week. The Big Bang Theory on the other hand? How adorable was that episode?! Between Penny and Leonard, and Sheldon and his Mama... Oh, it's good to have the gang back. Even Raj and Harold.

Also on Monday nights? One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl. Yeah, I'm probably the only person still watching One Tree Hill, but it still entertains me. And while Gossip Girl was off to a bit of a slow start, the second episode definitely had me laughing out loud at certain parts. It really is sad that Georgina won't be a full time cast member due to her new show.

Rounding out my Monday night tv extravaganza is Dancing with the Stars! Oh, how I've missed this show, it is my absolute favorite, and it makes me truly believe I could do a quickstep if I really wanted to. Early favorites? Mya, Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Joan Hart, and the Iron Chef guy, Mark. Wishlist for dances? I'd love to see Lacey do a kickass Paso to either Katy Perry's Hot 'N Cold or Cobra Starship's Good Girls Go Bad. You know it would be awesome too, don't lie.

Tuesday nights is the result show for Dancing with the Stars, and I'm thinking about checking out The Good Wife because I still have a special place in my heart for Logan from Gilmore Girls, and he is a co-star on this. It's gotten good reviews so far, but I haven't watched the episode yet, saving it for a rainy day I suppose. Did anyone watch? Is it worth it?

Wednesday nights .... I'm still a huge fan of Law and Order: SVU, and am excited to see tonight's premiere. I'm also looking forward to checking out Cougartown and Modern Family. Have you checked out The Beautiful Life on the CW starring the one and only Mischa Barton? Um yeah... I do love this show, it's perfectly trashy and decadent and well, Marissa Cooper is always fun to watch.

Thursday nights... Holy eff, Grey's Anatomy. I'm a huge Izzy fan, so I'm excited to see what happens with her this season... I fully admit to being completely unspoilered and blown away by the last episode of last season, and not guessing the whole George thing and yeah... Besides Dancing with the Stars, this is the show I'm most excited to get back.

I don't think I have anything Fridays or Saturdays thankfully, but Sunday will be bringing back good old Desperate Housewives and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, so looking forward to those.

Wow, rereading this, I definitely feel a little pathetic, but really, I'm constantly busy while the tv is on, and need the tv on because I live alone and cannot stand to be in complete silence. Oh, and I'm addicted to television.

Are there any shows I'm not watching that I should be? Is anyone watching the new Melrose Place? I'm curious to check it out, but have kept missing it... and is anyone else as upset as I am that Privileged got canceled and replaced with another freaking Vampire show? Just me? Okay then.

What are you watching this season? What are you skipping over?

Truths

Truth: I'm 28 years old and I still speak to my mom every single day.

My mom is the most important person in my life. She is the one that without, I would fail. At everything. We have never had a fight, we have never disagreed on a single thing. Unless you count the fact that she likes the song Fire Burning by Sean Kingston and I would rather give myself papercuts than hear it one more time.

She is the one who made the trip to help me after I spent 7 weeks lying in bed, too depressed to do anything but cry. She is the one that took care of everything, from getting me to my doctors appointments to feeding me to making my apartment look like a home again. She got me out of bed.

Every single day, my mom will call me, or I will call her and we'll talk about the important things. Things like what a douchebag Jon Gosslin is or what outfit Lady GaGa wore to the last awards show. We talk about the books we're reading and current events happening, she tells me about the pets back home and what the family is up to, I let her know which friends I'm seeing that weekend and the adorable thing my cats have done that made me smile.

Truth: Every single day, I lie to my mom.

The truth is, I'm falling apart again and I'm too scared to tell her. I'm too scared to admit that I feel like I've let her down again. The truth is, I have already fallen apart.

In those daily phone calls to my mom, what I don't tell her is that I stay in bed until at least 12:20 or 1 in the afternoon every single day. On the days I don't work, I consider 6 pm to be naptime. I rarely leave my house, and when I do, it's only out of sheer need.

I cry. At least twice a day.

I don't see my friends nearly as often as I'd lead her to believe. Partly because I simply do not have the energy to make myself presentable to leave the house to socialize. Partly because I'm angry and bitter enough to resent my friends because they don't struggle with everyday life the way I do. And I hate that I feel that way, but I do.

I don't tell her that more often than not, I call in sick to work, and because of this, I am probably one month away from losing my car since I cannot afford the payments. Believe me, my parents have bailed me out financially more times than I care for this summer, and I will not ask them to do it again. I'll figure something out. I always do.

The stress of figuring out how to make my car payments, my rent, and every other bill I have stacked up keep me in a constant state of panic and anxiety. Because of this, I do not sleep at night, instead wishing for the Ambien and Lexapro presecription that I can't afford anymore because I had to cancel my insurance in order to be able to pay my bills. And the no working.

It is the most vile cycle I have ever been caught in. And I do not know how I am going to get out of it.

Truth: I'm 28 years old and all I want is my mommy.

Wordless Wednesday - Hot Dog Edition

[whisper screams] The hot-dog has tennis shoes on!