The only time I'll get to mention Gilmore Girls and Fleetwood Mac in the same post

Time cast its spell on you, but you won't forget me

I know I could have loved you but you would not let me

I'll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you

You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

~ Silver Springs, Fleetwood Mac

This morning I was at the girly doctor for my yearly exam, and as I'm lying there with my knees bent and feet up in stirrups, I'm trying my best to focus on the ceiling and not think about what's going on on the other side of that sheet, when my doctor comes up with this conversation gem:

"So, I remember seeing you about 3 years ago and you were dating a guy from Canada. How's that going?"

I'm not even going to lie, I shot up on my elbows and looked at her completely horrified, asking "Is that in my chart?!?" She laughed and told me no, she just remembered us talking about him.

Great. Well, I've been thinking of ways to bring up the Canadian Ex in this blog for awhile, and really, there's no better way than that. And FYI Dr. Photogenic Memory, a big 2 thumbs down for bringing up the guy who was 96% responsible for my breakdown and great depression, as well as destroying any ability I might have had to trust another man, and who makes it difficult to this very day, for me to let anyone get close to me.

I'm sure she didn't mean it.

I really have been trying to come up with a way to get the entire story of this relationship out into my blog world, but I always get stuck halfway through. I do know that when I do finally get it out, it's going to be a big ol' 5 post extravaganza. But I may as well give a brief snapshot now.

Okay, so back in 2006 I met this guy "R" online. I know, I know... usually, that doesn't work out. And okay, in hindsight, this one didn't work out either, but at the time... it worked out really well. So we "e-dated" for a couple of months, then did the big meet and greet. He came to Michigan from Toronto and for 3 weeks we were blissfully happy, as cheesy as that sounds. He went back to Toronto and we continued the long-distance relationship for 11 months. There were visits as frequently as we could, and it was about this time 3 years ago that he was in Grand Rapids for a month long visit when he decided to break up with me. Why, you ask? Well, it had something to do with the girlfriend of NINE YEARS he had back in Toronto as well as the 21 year old virgin in Minnesota that he decided he'd rather spend New Years Eve with, and then subsequently, by January 15th, was living in Minneapolis. Great guy, eh?

Except, he was a great guy... to each of his girlfriends, I guess. Our first "date" was watching an episode of Gilmore Girls over the phone together because he knew it was my favorite tv show. We had planned our wedding... we would have been married on March 22, 2008, our first dance was going to be to Carole King's "Where You Lead" (also the theme to Gilmore Girls), and our first daughter's name was going to be Lorelai.

Why yes, I AM addicted to the show.

But, none of that happened. What happened instead was that I got sick at the end of October, and not being able to shake that flu, coupled with knowing something wasn't right with him or us, and the stress from my job... I simply came apart. I spiraled into this depression so hard that neither of us knew what the hell had happened. And then, when I could barely get up out of bed and put a smile on my face, he broke up with me. Nine days before Thanksgiving.

Did I mention that I had picked him up in Canada and brought him to Grand Rapids? That he didn't have a car? That this meant, I was stuck living with him in my apartment for SEVEN days before I was able to drive him back across that border and never lay eyes on him again?

Yeah, it was a rough week. I then spent Thanksgiving in the most amazing denial you have ever seen. I knew he was coming back. I knew we'd be together again with that ring on my finger by Christmas.

Four days before Christmas is when he told me about the Minnesota virgin and how he was spending the holidays with her.

Four days after Christmas is when I fell into my bed and refused to move for 6 weeks except when absolutely necessary. I had spiraled down as far as I could go, and still had no idea what was going on with me. Everyone told me it was because of the break-up, and that I would be fine as soon as I got up and started doing things. But I couldn't get up. I couldn't meet friends for dinner. I couldn't clean my house. Half the time I couldn't even brush my hair without getting tired and going right back to bed.

That's when I knew that it was more than just dealing with a break-up. That it was definitely something medical, and that I needed help.

So I got the help, and I got better. And I've been dealing and getting better for three years, but there are always reminders of him, no matter how hard I try to forget. I think of him everytime the clock turns to 3:22 (and I ALWAYS seem to look at that time.). I'm reminded of the first drive I made to Canada everytime I hear the song Dani California. Whenever Michigan plays Notre Dame, I know exactly how tense he is at that moment during the game. And yes, I take great satisfaction in the fact that he was absolutely miserable when Michigan beat them at the beginning of this season.

But seriously? The one place I NEVER thought I'd be reminded of him is the effing gynocologist! That is just unacceptable. Really unacceptable.

However... I will admit, that after my initial "what-the-hell" reaction to the doctor mentioning him, I was okay. Last year at this time, that would have been enough to send me into a tailspin. Hell, even three months ago I may have reacted differently, but the fact that right now I am able to even write about this, and laugh as doing so? Well, I might just be over him completely after all.

And I'm still naming my first daughter Lorelai.

Remember that episode of Friends where Joey is up for a Soapy or some other made-up award for soap operas, and Rachel tells him that at some point, everyone has pretended to give an acceptance speech for an award - hers, for example, was Best New Artist at the Grammy's? Now, considering the fact that up until last year (okay, this past summer) I would wear stiletto heels in my living room and drink Diet Coke out of champagne glasses while watching reruns of America's Next Top Model, is it really any stretch of imagintion to believe I have done this?

Okay, so my "award" was always for Best Writing Team for General Hospital but its safe to assume I always had a pretty kickass speech. I know! I'm such a dork.

Anyways.

The amazingly talented and always entertaining E at Life of a Girl, New Chapter: Starting Over was awesome enough to pass this award over to me. It made me smile. Have you read her blog? No? Then I insist you go check it out, as you will find it always enjoyable. Thanks, E!

The best part of this award? No, it didn't have a shiny statue for me to dance around with, but better - a survey! Remember the heyday of MySpace when nothing was better than filling out surveys with the same questions over and over again? Oh yeah, I was one of those girls.

And to be able to do this again? Totally makes my day.

1. Where is your cell phone: On the table next to me. I actually get nervous if its in another room than I am.

2. Your hair: Is up in a pony-tail still. I had it perfectly straightened last night for a date, and now it looks cute up. Score!

3. Your mother: My mother's amazing. Plain and simple. I couldn't have asked for a better one.

4. Your father: My dad and I have had our issues, but when it comes down to it, I really couldn't have asked for better parents than I have. My dad is pretty great.

5. Your favorite food: I'm Polish and Italian... all we do is eat, so my favorites can change with the weather. I will always love baked potatoes though.

6. Your dream from last night: So weird! I just typed it out and it made absolutely no sense, so I deleted it, and we'll just say it involved Ryan Reynolds and watching cartoons.

7. Your favorite drink: Diet Coke.

8. Your dream/goal: To be settled and happy! And secure.

9. What room are you in: The living room/dining room.

10. What is your hobby: Writing. Always has been, always will be.

11. What is your fear: That Spencer and Heidi will actually have children. Oh, and that I'll grow old and die alone.

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years: In 6 years I'll be 34. Yikes! I can't even think about that right now. I'd like to say by that time I'll be married with at least two kids....

13. Where were you last night: At Monelli's Sports Bar on a first date with someone.

14. Something you are not: mean-spirited.

15. Muffins: My cat's name is Muffin! Other than that, unless they're blueberry or banana nut, I don't want anything to do with them.

16. Wish list item: oh where do I start? A new laptop would be nice.. a paid-off car would be fabulous... Ryan Reynolds in boxer briefs on my couch watching old-school cartoons would be heaven.

17. Where did you grow up: Oh how I wish I could sing "... born in raised in South Detroit!" but alas, I am "Just a small town girl."

18. Last thing you did: Cleaned up the dishes from lunch and fed the cats.

19. What are you wearing: Pink and green boxers and a long sleeved t-shirt.

20. Your tv: Is always on because I hate being in total silence.

21. Your pets: 2 cats, 2 spoiled rotten cats.

22. Your friends: To know them, is to love them. To look at them from an outsider's view, you would think they're all crazy.

23. Your life: Is never boring.

24. Your mood: Is improving every single day!

25. Missing someone: Sure.

26. Vehicle: Total grandma car - 2002 Bonneville.

27. Something you're not wearing: Socks. Hate them.

28. Your favorite store: Wal-Mart!

29. Your favorite color: Pink.

30. When's the last time you laughed: When watching a Reba rerun on Lifetime this morning.

31. When's the last time you cried: Um... Sunday during Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

32. Your best friend: Is crazy enough to want me as a best friend.

33. One Place You Go Over and Over: Barnes and Noble... can't stay away.

34. One person who emails me regularly: My aunt, with pictures of my cousins, or hilarious video links.

35. Favorite place to eat: Hmm... while I am a big fan of the Olive Garden, nothing beats my grandma's house when she's cooking a dinner for 40!

Oh, that was fun... I really do miss those. Okay, time to pass the award on...

And the award goes to:

Puddles of Sunshine

The Sweetest Thing

Walking on Sunshine

And How Was Your Weekend?

This weekend, Nicole:

A. Had lunch bought for her by two lesbian truck drivers who asked her not to quit her job.

B. Got so excited and so caught up in singing "Shoop" by Salt-n-Pepa that she missed her exit off the highway and instead of getting to go home, got to go to the next exit and drive down a creepy gravel road in the dark with no lights until she accidentally ended up back in her town.

C. Ate way too much Halloween candy because the only trick-or-treaters she got were 2 fifteen year old girls dressed in tacky lingerie.

D. All of the above.

The answer? D.

What? Like you can top A or B?