I Want to be on a Celebreality TV Show

This past weekend I had a dream that I fell in love at the Jersey Shore. I don't remember a lot of details, but I do know this: "The Situation", Snooki, and I all worked at Charlotte Russe and would not let a customer in 6 minutes past closing to return a sweater.

Clearly, it was an awesome dream.

But yes, I fell in love at the Jersey Shore, though I'm going to refrain from saying with who. Instead, we'll just say it was Ryan Reynolds. ScarJo won't mind, I'm sure. And once I woke up, I realized something very important.

I need my own reality dating show!

There are so many reasons for this, but I'll just name a few.

I'm in my twenties, blonde, and from the midwest. By any reality tv show standard, this means I'm the virginal sweetheart everyone loves in episode one, but has become so slut-tastic by episode 5, no one can stand her. Who doesn't want to watch that?

I say things like slut-tastic.

I have been known to walk around in my Snuggie, hungover, trying to make salsa with my SlapChop. Again I ask, who wouldn't watch this?

My theme song would be this

I mean really? We watch crap like "BBQ Pit Masters" for crying out loud.. why WOULDN'T people watch a show about me?

*** Full disclosure. I'm drunk right now. I apologize for this post. But I really do want my own show. And I really did have that dream about the Jersey Shore.

Also? Have you seen this? Amazing.

Might be a quarter-life crisis ~ Or just a stirring in my soul

Who are you?

Whoever you want me to be.

~ Ryan and Marissa, the OC

Californiaaaa... Califoniaaaaaa... Here we cooooooooome!

Oh come on.. you've all sung that at one point or another. You may have even added the "tinkle tinkle tink" piano. You know what I'm talking about.

No, I'm not going to California... but I have been watching a lot of the OC lately (thanks, SoapNet!) and that quote above from the first episode has been sticking with me a lot lately... mostly because I still don't have an idea as to who I am.

A lot's gone on since my last update. There was Christmas, and my 1 year blog anniversary, and then I turned 29 a couple of weeks ago. 29. As in, one year away from 30. As in, "Nicole starts to panic about life." My birthday itself? For the most part, it was a pretty great day, although there were a few low points, such as:

*realizing I had very little to say to some of my best friends, even though I had not seen them in several weeks. Consequently, they did not have much to say to me either. Sigh.

* ending the night curled up on the floor of my bedroom having a silent sobbing hysterical panic attack that I didn't want my sister who was across the hall to know I was having.

Yeah, those points weren't much fun, but the rest of the day was. But the panic attack has kind of stuck with me... I am so not where I thought I'd be in life right now, and worse, I don't have any clue as to how to get there.

I went back and read the first post of this blog. I'd link, but it's embarrassing. I was supposed to finish my novel last year. It shouldn't have been that hard to do. It's all plotted out. I completed 4,000 words. That's nothing. And it's not like I haven't been writing. I have been. I wrote a lot this year. But none of it was my actual novel. And that makes me sad. Why waste my time writing what I did write, when I could have been working on something substantial?

Don't get me wrong though, I've loved every bit of my writing.

So. This year? My novel - is a priority. It has to be. I've even gone as far as to setting up a writing schedule. Now I just need to stick to it.

As for the rest of my life, and the last year of my twenties? Well. I guess I'll figure it out as I go. And if I don't, at least I'm not living in Chino.

Happy New Year a couple weeks late, everyone!